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You don’t need to spend a fortune, simply plan wisely with a few sharp pieces. Here are some qualities to look for in a healthy relationship: common values and similar culture, ability to forgive and be forgiven, ability to be challenged and confronted without defensiveness, desire to raise children, common goals. Small changes can make a world of difference in your looks as well as your outlook.

Talk to your pastor, or call for Christian counseling at 1-800 NEW LIFE. Talk to your family and friends about the kind of man you want. Ask them for tips on the type of guy they think you need, and don’t be insulted when they tell you the truth. It seems that everyone is online now, and access can be overwhelming. Look in places where you would expect to find someone with the qualities you value.

Men want to be proud of their wife’s appearance, not embarrassed.

Work with what you have: get a makeover; ask a personal shopper at the department store to help you revamp your look.

You cannot correct something you did not realize was stupid. You are starting to develop humility, which is a good trait. Unlike us, God is very forgiving when we repent, turn around and are willing to let Him change us. He died for us while we were still sinners, not after we got our acts together. God loves all of us, even when we do not love ourselves. Millions of people are online every day and you must be aware that like anywhere else, you will meet all types. Just use the same common sense you would use in dating anyone for the first time. If you want a generous guy, ask yourself: Who in your crowd has a generous spirit? Who sacrifices his day off to work for Habitat for Humanity? Who volunteers at the Children’s Hospital as a clown?

RIGHT by seeing what you have done wrong in the past. Others have run into problems all the way from being deceived, to being murdered. If you want someone who is good with kids, look for a coach or a teacher or a mentor. Who goes out of his way for his grandmother or aunt?